Morning
by YellowDartVader
Summary: In this vignettte, Anakin and Padme spend their last few hours together before he must leave to fight in the Clone Wars. A response to the Feb. Challenge at the PadAni fanfic archive.


Morning

by Yellow Dart Vader

Moonlight shone through the large window, casting the room in a peaceful, ethereal glow. But Padmé felt anything but peace. In fact, Padmé hadn't slept all night, tortured by the unstoppable future. As she lay awake, counting the hours until daybreak, while reveling in the comfort of Anakin's embrace, she dreaded the eminent sunrise.

Padmé rolled onto her side and gazed at Anakin's face. When he slept, he looked so young, so innocent, but still so worried. Although his features softened significantly when he slept, the worry lines around his eyes remained. She wished she could help erase that worry, that fear, but she knew that fear would always be a part of the Anakin who had stolen her heart.

She traced a feather-light path from his forehead down his cheeks and across his strong jaw with her index finger. His chest rose and fell with each deep, even breath, and she was sure he was still asleep. She didn't want to disturb him, but she needed to memorize the shape of his face and the feel of his skin in case they didn't have the forever they had promised each other.

Padmé closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Although neither had spoken the words out loud, they both knew that he might never return.

He had barely recovered from his battle with Count Dooku. She ran her hand down his prosthetic arm and felt her breath catch in her chest. He claimed it didn't hurt. He claimed it functioned even better than a natural arm. But Padmé knew the truth.

Even if his injury had healed, even if his prosthetic arm did function better than his old arm, he was in no shape to face the stresses of war. She laced her fingers through his prosthetic hand and sighed.

She knew he tried to hide his pain from her. Most of the time he succeeded. But when he slept, the worry lines spread across his young face, showing her just how much he hurt. Padmé ran her fingers through his soft hair, trying to soothe his pain.

Losing his mother, slaughtering a Tusken Raider village, and losing his battle and his arm to Count Dooku had left him scarred. He wasn't the same Jedi who had accompanied her to Naboo. He wasn't the same man who had kissed her by the lake and professed his love for her by the fire. He would never be that innocent, that free again. And part of Padmé wept for Anakin's lost innocence.

She had to laugh at her own thoughts. Anakin had never been innocent.

He was reckless. He was stubborn. He was sometimes insecure. But Padmé loved Anakin more than she had ever thought it possible to love anyone.

Wrapped in his strong arms, she was whole. When Anakin Skywalker entered her heart, he filled a hole she hadn't known existed.

She brushed her cheek against his, and his day-old stubble prickled against her face. Being so close to his lips, she couldn't help herself any longer. She brushed her lips against his, and gasped when he opened his eyes.

"Go back to sleep," she whispered, but her lips brushed against his with every word.

His bright blue eyes locked with her brown ones, and he shook his head. His prosthetic hand squeezed her flesh one. His natural hand ran up and down her back and his fingers twirled into her curls.

They did not need to speak. Their kiss deepened, and her body surrendered to him. Without any resistance, she let him pull her onto his hard, muscular chest. She closed her eyes and drowned in his kiss.

"Are you all right?" His voice was soft and deep, almost breathless from their kisses.

She buried her head into his shoulder so he wouldn't see the few tears that had tumbled down her cheeks.

"Padmé?" He pushed the hair out of her face and kissed the top of her head.

She took a deep breath and pulled away from him. "Anakin. . ." Her voice shook with emotion when she said, "Go back to sleep."

He ran a finger down her cheek. "Not until you tell me what's wrong."

Under his intense stare, Padmé trembled. She averted her eyes and sighed. "Anakin . . ."

Wrapping his strong arms, one flesh, one metal, around her back, he pulled her flush against him. He whispered into her ear, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Really?" He placed a light kiss on each of her cheeks. "I know you better than that. I can feel your pain."

"I'm sorry. It's complicated." She heaved a deep, shuddering sigh. "I am not sure if I know what I'm thinking."

"Tell me," he growled into her ear. "Let me help you."

She shivered when his warm breath brushed against her ear. "Anakin, I do want to tell you." She took a deep breath and closed her eyes, trying to gather her thoughts. "But I'm afraid you won't understand."

He narrowed his eyes. "Try me."

She shifted in his embrace, but his grip became even tighter. "Anakin, you know I love you."

He nodded and grabbed her hand with his metal hand. She flinched from the pressure he used.

"These days together . . . I wouldn't trade them for anything." She took a deep breath.

He broke her eye contact and sighed. "Is it our marriage?" He raised his eyebrows and tilted his head to the side. "You regret it."

"No!" Her voice came out a little higher than she had intended. "Of course not. Do . . . do you?"

She felt him release a breath against her cheek. "Never," he declared.

"Are you sure?" She bit her lower lip and waited for his response.

"Absolutely." A smile played on his lips.

"What about the Jedi? What about our lives? What about our –"

"— Do you ever think of anything except duty?" A spark of passion flashed in his eyes. "Does everything you do have to involve self-sacrifice?"

"What do you mean?"

Anakin ground his teeth like he was trying to keep himself from screaming. His voice came out in a low, even tone. "You heard me. You think of your people. You think of the Republic –"

"— Anakin. Stop."

He shook his head. His voice grew louder, more erratic. "You know I'm right, Padmé."

"You're not." Her voice shook and she struggled to hold back tears.

"I am. You never think of yourself. Ever. It's like you never want to be happy." He squeezed her shoulders.

"That's not –"

"— All I'm asking is that you think of yourself. What would make you happy? For once in your life, be selfish."

She looked down at the sheets. "I am selfish. I followed my heart," she said so softly she wasn't sure if Anakin could hear her. Then she looked up into Anakin's eyes.

He cupped her cheeks between his hands. "You are the most selfless person I have ever met."

She turned her head and placed a soft kiss on his palm. "You're wrong."

"So you weren't thinking about the Republic?"

"I guess I was."

"I knew it."

Padmé sighed. "Not in the way you think. I was thinking about everything with a selfish bias."

"Padmé, that is not truly selfish." He ran his prosthetic hand down her back and she shivered from the cold.

"It is," she whispered. "I wasn't thinking of ways to help the Republic. I was thinking about you."

"And that makes you selfish?"

"Absolutely. My bias has affected my rational thought."

Anakin groaned. "How so?"

"I wanted to find a way for you to stay here with me." She closed her eyes and dropped her voice. "My judgment is clouded. I am not protecting the Republic's best interests. I am protecting my own."

"Padmé –"

"— Our marriage is the one purely selfish thing I have ever done." Her voice was barely louder than a whisper. "But you are an extension of my very soul."

"Padmé . . . why are you so upset? Isn't it a good thin that we love each other so much?" Anakin brushed his hands around her back and over her shoulders. His lips captured hers in a quick kiss.

Her lips brushed against his when she said, "Of course it is. But –"

"— But what?" His metal hand laced into her long curls and he pulled her to him again.

"I love you, Anakin. I love you so much it scares me." She let her hand trail down his cheek.

"Don't be frightened." His feather light kiss sent a shiver through her entire body. "Please tell me what's scaring you so much."

She took a deep breath and tried to pull away. "I want to tell you, but I'm not sure if you of all people will understand."

He tightened his grip around her small body. "I think I understand." His voice was low and menacing.

"Of course you do. It's just . . ." She averted her eyes. "I don't know. Forget I said anything."

"I won't forget it. I need to know."

"Anakin, please . . . "

His eyes flashed. "Duty. You want to chose duty over me."

"No –"

"— I will not lose you." His voice shook with emotion. "I will not let you end our marriage"

Her eyebrows narrowed. "End our marriage?"

"Isn't that what you are thinking?" His voice was almost a growl.

"Of course not." She ran a hand down his bare chest. "I married you because I love you with no concern for our duties."

Anakin continued like he didn't hear her. "Duties, be damned. Our marriage is more important. And nothing you say will convince me otherwise. I will never agree that our marriage was a mistake."

"I never said that." Her voice came out strong and sharp like she was brokering a settlement on the senate floor.

Anakin looked appropriately shell-shocked. "You didn't?"

She closed her eyes for a moment. When she opened her eyes, she smiled at him and her voice was softer. "Of course not." She ran her hand down the side of his face. "Anakin, you know I love you."

He didn't respond, but the corners of his lips turned up into the slightest smile.

She kissed his cheek and brushed across his face before she whispered into his ear. "You know I need you."

He sighed, but still did not speak.

"You know I can't live without you." Her lips touched his ever so slightly with each word.

He resisted her kiss and averted his eyes.

"Anakin?"

He flinched when her breath played against his lips. She knew he was struggling not to return her kiss. He took a deep breath, and after a moment, he said, "Yes." His voice was wary.

She pulled back and stared into his eyes. "I have never once doubted my love for you. Please believe me."

"I know," he whispered, with a slight shake in his voice.

She put both hands on his cheeks and made him look at her. "And I am proud to be your wife. I will always be your wife."

"So you aren't leaving me?" Relief played across his face. The corners of his lips tilted up into a tentative smile.

"Never." She smiled down at him. "I am yours until death," she whispered the line she had spoken in her wedding vows.

He sighed. "I love you, Padmé."

"I love you, too." She brushed her lips against his in a tender, chaste kiss. "I am your wife. No matter what."

He grabbed her shoulders. "I don't know what I would do if I lost you."

She bit her lower lip. "I don't know what I will do without you." After closing her eyes for a moment to gather her composure, she continued, "Do you really want to know what I was thinking?"

"You have to ask?"

The corners of her lips turned up into a smile. "I wished we had more time together."

"I know."

"I'm not ready." She took a deep breath. "I don't want to let you go."

"Padmé."

She shook her head. "I was thinking of ways to keep you safe . . . and here with me."

"If I could . . . "

"I know." She cupped his face in her hand. "I don't want you to shirk your duty. You are a Jedi. And I would never take that from you."

"Duty again." He sighed. "I would leave in a moment if you told me to." His eyes bored into hers, and she knew he was telling the truth.

"I can never ask you that." She took a deep breath. "You will not give up your life for me. I would never forgive myself for taking away something so vital to who you are."

"You are my life." He smiled that half-grin she had fallen in love with. His voice dropped so that it was almost a whisper. "Since I was nine years old."

"Anakin . . ." She sighed and decided to change her argument. "You love being a Jedi."

He shrugged. "I do. But I love you more."

"You are a Jedi. It's a part of you I fell in love with. I can't ask you to give that up for me. I would never forgive myself if you gave up your life for me."

"Padmé . . ." He leaned in to kiss her, but she shook her head. "I am a Jedi for you. Everything I have done, I have done for you."

"Don't say that. You are a Jedi; you need to be a Jedi." She ran her fingers up his chest until they rested against his lips. "Don't tell me you don't love jumping from system to system fighting bad guys and protecting the people you love."

"The person I love."

She smiled. "Me."

He kissed the tip of her nose. "I am a Jedi so I can protect you."

She closed her eyes and shook her head. "Let's not argue this point any further. We both know I am not the only reason you are a Jedi."

"But –"

"— Anakin."

He rolled his eyes. "All right. You're right. I love being a Jedi. I love the action, the adventure, the aggressive negotiations, the lightsaber."

She laughed. "The lightsaber?"

"Of course." He flashed a cocky grin. "Women love the lightsaber."

"Anakin!"

"What? I like to think it's the reason you fell in love with me."

She wanted to wipe that faux-innocent smirk off his handsome face. "That's right. Without the lightsaber, you would just be one of the other handsome men who have tried to win my hand . . ."

"Other? What other men?"

She laughed at his incredulous expression. "No one. You know you are the only one for me. The only one there ever has been and the only man there ever will be."

A soft smile spread across Anakin's face. "I'd better be."

"As long as I am the only woman who gets to examine your lightsaber."

He rolled his eyes. "Of course, M'lady. You are the only girl who I've ever wanted to touch my lightsaber."

She laud her hand on his chest. "Sure, Anakin. If you say so."

His voice deepened. "You've been my only thought . . . since I was nine years old."

"Anakin –"

" I'll bet you haven't loved me that long."

Padmé laughed. "When I was nine years old, you were four!"

They were silent for a moment. Then Anakin's deep laughter broke the silence. He grabbed her shoulders and pulled her into a warm hug. Soon, her laughter joined his, and they mixed kisses between bouts of laughter.

Then, Padmé sobered. "I don't want to lose you." She buried her head into his shoulder, unable to meet his eyes.

Anakin ran a hand down her back and said, "You won't. I'll be fine."

After a moment, she added, "I'm so scared." She took a deep breath and stared into his eyes, hoping for reassurance. Padmé wasn't sure what she wanted him to say, but she hoped he would have some kind of answer.

Anakin sighed. "Please, don't be afraid. I don't want you to spend your time worrying about me."

She half-laughed. "I have to be afraid. I love you. Just like you worry about me."

"That's not the same thing!"

"Oh, it's not?"

"Of course not. You aren't a Jedi."

She rolled her eyes. "Just because I'm not a Jedi, that means I can't defend myself?"

He ran a hand through his hair. "Of course not. That's not what I meant at all. I am just saying that I am a Jedi –"

"— And that means you can protect yourself from everything and I shouldn't worry about you?" She looked at his prosthetic arm.

He sighed and when he looked up, his gaze had turned hard. "I have learned my lesson."

She took a deep breath. "Just promise me you'll be careful."

He pressed his lips against her cheek. "I promise." He moved his lips across hers. "I will come home to you. And we'll be together."

She smiled. "Someday."

"I promise you, Padmé. I will be safe."

"But how will I know?"

Anakin's face lit up. "I have a plan."

"Do I want to hear your plan?"

He rolled over and pulled her underneath him. "Of course you do."

She ran her hand down his chest. "All right," she said, her voice filled with trepidation.

Anakin set his face with a hard expression. "I promise you, Padmé, I will be the Galaxy's greatest fighter."

"You'll be a hero."

He nodded. "For you."

"You're always my hero."

A tentative smile played on Anakin's lips. His deep voice made her shiver. "Padmé, I promise you. I will make sure the holo-net camera follows me everywhere I go."

"Who could resist this face?" Padmé laughed as she ran a finger down his cheek. "

"I'm serious."

"I know you are. I know you will be the Galaxy's greatest hero." She ran her hand down his flesh biceps and squeezed. "You are the strongest, most capable Jedi."

"I am, you know. Or I will be." His jaw was set squarely and his voice was low, almost a growl.

"I know, Anakin." She was almost embarrassed when she stammered, "I just don't want female beings around the Galaxy admiring my handsome Jedi husband."

Anakin laughed. "But I only have eyes for you."

"You're not the one I'm worried about."

His chest rumbled with deep laughter.

"I'm serious, Anakin."

"I know you are." His words were broken up by his choking laughter.

She rolled her eyes, but her lips met his in a passionate kiss. When their lips broke, she took a deep breath. "Promise me."

"Promise you what?" His intense, blue eyes bored into her soul.

Her voice shook when she said, "Promise me that I'll know if . . ."

He looked down for a moment then nodded. "If something happens to me?"

She nodded. "I don't know how, but –"

"- I know. But, my love, nothing is going to happen to me." He ran his hand down her cheek. "And that's what the holo-net is for."

She nodded and fell silent. After a moment, she said, "This war. I just wish . . . We need to . . ." She groaned. "I'm not sure you'll understand. Our politics. They're –"

"— Different."

She raised her eyebrows. "To put it simply, yes." She leaned down and planted a kiss on his waiting lips. "So I don't want to fight about politics on your . . ."

"My last day here." He took a deep breath and added, "Our last morning together."

"Exactly." She let out a half-chuckle. "How do you know me so well already?"

Anakin closed his eyes. "I feel like I've known you my whole life."

Padmé bit her lip and nodded. "It's like we can feel each other's thoughts and fears."

"I think the Force has plans for us. And that's why you have to tell me about your fears." He ran a hand down her cheek. "I can tell it's bothering you."

"If you really want to know . . . " She stared into his eyes and decided to broach the subject that had been torturing her since Geonosis. "You have to promise me you won't get angry and that you will listen to what I say."

He shrugged. "Anything for you."

"Promise?" She put her finger against his lips.

He nodded without saying a word.

She took a deep breath. "Do you feel like there's something out of place about this whole war?"

"In what sense?"

She sighed. "I don't know. I just . . . maybe I am blaming myself for leaving Jar Jar in my place."

"But your life –"

She shook her head. "— I would have gladly risked my own safety . . . I can't believe –"

"— If you hadn't left Corescant, we would not be together now."

Padmé smiled. "That's true." She stroked the side of his face smiling when she felt the day-old stubble against her hand. "You're right. I just don't want you to go yet."

"I know." Anakin closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

Padmé brushed her lips against his again. "Don't leave me."

"All right," he whispered.

She pulled him down so he was flush against her chest. "Please stay with me."

Anakin pulled back so that he looked into her eyes. "You want me to put love before duty."

"Just for tonight. Just until the sun rises."

"Padmé, please . . ." His voice held a silent desperation, a pitiful longing. "I don't know if I can leave you."

"I know." She closed her eyes, and tried to block out the feeling of Anakin's lips brushing against her cheeks.

"Let's stay here. No war. No politics. No Jedi."

"Anakin, we can't." She spoke with a confidence she knew she didn't possess.

He nodded and his voice dropped to almost a whisper. "I know."

She closed her eyes and sighed. The refrain was almost painful. "As soon as this war is over –"

He nodded and put his fingers over her lips. "— We'll be together."

"I'm yours forever, Anakin. No matter what." She took a deep breath.

"Forever." His prosthetic hand worked its way under hear head as his flesh fingers ran across her face. Finally, his lips captured hers in a passionate kiss.

Padmé sighed. When their lips met, time almost stood still. "I love you, Anakin," Padmé murmured against his lips.

"Until death," he declared.

The End


End file.
